synthetic essay

how did i do on essay...what can be improved for my writing in the essay....general essay rules:incorporate the sources into writing...make it fit not just plug it in bcuz you have to

I think I did reasonable well on the essay. It is hard for me because I did not have APUSH last year so I have never done a timed synthetic essay. So I probably did not do as well as I feel on it. I think my writing needs to be improved. We wrote so much for AP english last year and I feel like my writing is slipping. I think I need to improve my analysis skills. That's somethign i worked really ahrd on last year but this year I haven't so my analysis and conclusion skills have dropped dramatically. For general essay rules I think for synthetic essays I need to work on not jsut plugging in quotes, like I may have done last year, but really incorporating the imformation so it's more fluid. I think the pieces are supposed to flow and feel like there is no break in thought event with a quote.

common sense- thomas paine

a) a summary: Thomas Paine is discussing the pro's of society and the formation of soceity, and the con's of government. he is very pro-starting a society and keeping people united together for one cause, but believes that government ruling is evil. He goes on to describe a scenario where four or five men together can bild up a house, but one man alone can slave all day and accomplish nothing. People are naturally drawn together for want of safety but once people obtain safety, they no longer need governments.
paragraph one is making the statement that society = good and government = bad. introducing the idea that he prefers society over government. He says that other writers say that society and government are the same thing but they are very different in reality. Government is a necessary evil in his eyes because governmtn is there for bad side of our nature and society for the good side of it
paragraph two is about supporting his thesis made in teh first paragraph. government is there because our conscience isn't strong enough and we don't obey our conscious to the point of being just. governemtn is there for faults and lack of ability to listen to conscious. build government palace on lost innocence. badgeon ....metaphor to adam and eve having to ear clotes to us needing government.
paragraph three is an extended metaphor proiding an example to a claim before in the previous paragraph about the "design and end of government." people naturally try to connect with each other and they have lots of ideas of what they want it to look like, but one man can't do it on his own. They all have to work together. it's important for us to see that we need ea ch other and that we need each other because we can't do our own thing.

b) an analysis of the logical argument (fact, claim, warrant)
fact: To me it is unclear if he contains any facts in the piece since it is an incredibly opinionated point of view and discussion.
claim: he claims that people would be better off with no goverment and just society.
warran: he gives scenarios where people working together are more effective and beneficial than the instillment of a government.

c) rhetorical strategies: parallelism "happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices" demonstrate that there are two sides to one coin...yin/yang....
metaphor with palaces built on bowers of paradise.
logical arugment/ analogy." if the people are doing blank, then logically blank."

ARGUMENT BY ANALOGY*****
playing if-then / hypotherical

he $114.69 Speech Poplice

Facts: University of Montana < $100 Condidatre spendy 2) a sum allocates fees 3) in 2004 Flint ran for student senate 4) Flint spent $214.69 on posters and pizza and won 5) there were posters attacking him put up around teh school 6) he exceeded the limit fo money allowed to spend on elections = Flint ki9cked out of senate 7) Flint sues and loses in district

Claims: Flint should be allowd to spend $ on candidency w/ only a few restrictions.

Warrant: It's not fair to let interest groups spend lots and other people less.

The warrant is implied. The facts kind of match the claim. The article is comprised mainly of a lot of facts. The author deals with rebuttals by

Freedom's just another word

Facts: australians are required to vote 2) if they fail to comply they're fined 3)currently less than 51% of ppl vote in the US 4) 90%+ voter turnout in Australia

claim: if americans had this system people would participate more in voting

warrant: We are a non-participating democracy and we would be more traditional democracy if more people voted.


The claim is implicit. Yes, the facts match up with the claim. The author deals with rebuttals by stating that

Presidential Speech

Never before has there been a question about the Presidential cabinet chosen. Questioning leads to confusion, confusion leads to chaos, and chaos leads to the destruction of what American’s hold dear: tranquility. I have had no part no this conspiracy that is leading people down the road to destruction. The people have asked of me, but now I am asking of the people. I ask all of the American people to hold faith in me, in their leaders, and in the democratic system we all hold so dear. There is nothing iIwant more than for the great nation of the United States of America to prosper and I am not willing to let this outlandish scandal to get in the way of that goal. I am your President and I am here to say I will do everthing in my power to make sure America stays along the straight path. Thank you

Thoreau

I had/have an extremely challenging time trying to figure out what Thoreau is talking about in his piece, "Where i Lived, and What i Live for." I believe he's talking about living simply and living for oneself. He uses repetition of the word "simplify" and "simplicity," to get his point across in the second paragraph. Thoreau also uses long extended sentences with many comas. I think he uses this technique to show the invalue of life when we go for quantity not quality. He makes a point of saying we don't need a million objects but "only half a dozen."
i went to the woods because i wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life and see if i could not learn what i had to teach, and not, when i came to die, to discover that i had not lived. - in teh woods is "real life" and everything else is "not life." a way for him to not focus on "petty" and unessential parts to life. Woods allows you to strip off modern and unnecessary parts of life. antithesis in "...and to see...." to the end. other stuff in life outside of woods is frivolous.
from begining of time life has had meaning so wants to return to roots of humanity (spartans).
live meanly = lives cramped and useless and unhappy

Singularity

The Kurzweil article is a bit difficult to understand if he's speaking negatively or positively about technological advances. He says that it will eradicate diseases and end world hunger and pollution which to most people are good things. But, he has this negative under-tone that makes it seem like he believes that technological advanaces are not all good. Personally I am just confused.
McKibben's article is a lot easier to understand. He says all of the great thigns that science advacnements are creating but then goes on to say that it's destroying the very thing that makes us human: unpredictability. He says that theses flaws give mearning to life. It's teh "weight" taht holds us to grounded and he made a quote that once technological advances snip away all that is holding us, we will "float away to meaninglessness." That is a bit scary to think about!
Personally I do agree. I think flaws and bad experiences make the good times more meaningful because we have somethign to compare it to! IF there's no disease to threaten life, how will we be able to appreciate living? IF we can't die, how do we appreciate life? There are a lot of questions with no answers and just more "snipping" at the lines that keep us tied down to ameaningful and happy life